SMS Jokes

In a running race, if you over take the second person what place will you be in?
Think...



First?



No, its wrong.


If you overtake the second person, you will be in the second place!
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Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple…
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
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In my heart our love is heard like a ring tone.
In my ears Ur speech is heard like voice mail.
But when I called for response
Subscriber can’t reach at the moment.
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Osama Bin Laden’s favourite song:
“O Main Nikla
Plane Leke
Raste Mein
New York Mein
Ek Mod Aaya
Main WTC Tod Aaya.”
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A PAINFUL PHRASE WRITTEN ON SAND BY A SMALL BOY
WHO LOST HIS PARENTS IN FLOOD

"DEAR RIVER I"LL NEVER FORGIVE U
EVEN IF UR WAVES TOUCH MY FEET A MILLION TIMES"
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By expecting a negative answer,
Girlfriend ask “Have u ever cheated, lie, broken promise?”

To satisfy his girl,
the boy reply a negative answer:
“Nothing of these, I haven’t done.”
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Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest
and pease so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor:They are for you.!!
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Yaad rakh ker meri dosti ko tumne,
Meri zindagi per ehsan kar diya,

Is mobile mein yeh last rupiya tha,
Daikh wob bhi tere naam kar dia,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband
said to you when he woke that morning?”
Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”

Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
Witness: “My name is Susan.”
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Lab pai aati hai dua ban k tamanna meri,
zindagi bomb sai ho mehfoz khudaya meri!

Main jo daftar k liye ghar se nikal ker jaon,
Roz marrah ki tarha khair se wapas aaon!

Na koi bomb k dhamakay se uradaye mujh ko,
muft main jaam-e-shahadat na pila de mujh ko!

Jo urdaday mujhay khudkash to doain dunga,
bay wazu hokay chacha bush ko doain donga !

Biwi bachon ko meri jan ki qeemat mil jai,
bethay bethay meray ghar walon ko daulat mil jaye!

Hain jin logon se kal tak thee watan ki zenat,
aaj woh log hoay qabar-o-kafan ki zenat !

Ghar mera hogaya viranay ki soorut yarab,
Aur badli na kisi thanay ki soorat yaarab !

In pai jaiz hai zabardasti hukumat karna,
Aur hai jurm mujhey apne hifazat karna!

Rozi hum sub ki bacha roz ki hartalon sai
Jan aur maal ho mefoz police walon sai!

Jub na schol khulain gay to perhain gay kaisay,
Aur zinda na rahaingay to barhaingay kaisay !
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Thief 1: I forgot to count how much money we stole yesterday from the bank.
Thief 2: Dont worry, they will put it in the newpapers tomorrow morning.
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People will always throw stones in your path !

It dpends on u ! what do u make from it:

A "Wall" of difficulties.

OR,


A "Bridge of success.
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phir ek aasu chalakna chata hai
duao mai mahkna chata hai

nahi hai jab koi is shab ki manzil
sitara kiyu chmakna chata hai

jise dil jaan kar sharmindagi thi
wahi pathar dhadkna chata hai

nazar pe kapkape tari hai ya phir
koi parda sarkna chata hai
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1 larki ki dua

Kasam se her larkay ko bhula dungi,
Sab hi ki tasveerain jala dungi,

Ek tum hi raho gay is dil main,
Balance dalwa do tumhe dua dungi,
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“Change can’t be given to you every time,
You Must Bring the Change”
Great lines said by
.
.
.
.
Mr. Gul Khan, Bus Conductor.
(Now read once again).:-D
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Tring Tring Tring.

Sardar: Hello kon bol raha hai?
Other side: Ji, main bol raha hon.
Sardar: oye ye to kamal ho gia,
idhar se bhi main hi bol raha hon.
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Please select one of the following days:
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday

And kindly take a bath atleast on that one day, I cant tolerate the bad smell.
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1 larka dosre larke se:

Yaar tum ne kabhi koi larki phansai hai?

2nd boy!
Yaar larki main ne phansa li thi pr tum logon ne ye mohalla hi chor diya... ;-)
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Man 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs?
Man 2: By the time she gets ready, no other place is open.
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Boy askd girl: y do u love a rose,
Which dies in a day. But
Don’t love me,
Who dies 4 u everyday??

Girl replied:
.

.

.

Oye hoye…
What a dialogue!!
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Men r very Kind & Women r very mean!
“PROOF” Most women dont like to help unknown men
But
All men r ready 2 help unknown females.
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Phir se totay hoay patton ka sahara le kar,
wehshat-e-dil kisi jugnoo sa udhara le kar,
dasht-e-dunuya main umeedo ka kinara le kar,
main tumain yad kar loun ek umr dobara le kar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is sheher k qatil ko main ne dekha to nahi,

mOh$!n

Lashoon se andaza hai k qatil pe jawani hai
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In a running race, if you over take the last person what place will you be in?
Think...



Last?



Are you kidding? How can you overtake the last person in a race?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
phir ek aasu chalakna chata hai
duao mai mahkna chata hai

nahi hai jab koi is shab ki manzil
sitara kiyu chmakna chata hai

jise dil jaan kar sharmindagi thi
wahi pathar dhadkna chata hai

nazar pe kapkape tari hai ya phir
koi parda sarkna chata hai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golden Rule:-
‘To be happy with a man,
love him little and understand him a lot.

To be happy with a woman,
love her a LOT and DO NOT TRY to understand her :)”